hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
