she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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