How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
