I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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