I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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