The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
