do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
