So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need water and some morals
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
