Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
