why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
