do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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