why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She needs sedatives and a leash
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
