And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
