oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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