I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
