Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
