if you like me you must not know who I am
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
