***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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