I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
