I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
