the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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