what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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