You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
