All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
