Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
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Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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