After last night, I could never be a politician.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
