Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
