dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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