haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
