was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
