plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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