I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize