I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she pinky promised me she was 18
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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