why didn't you poke me back
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
