I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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