Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
