maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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