so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
