and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
