Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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