im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
