haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
we should paint friendship bongs
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