you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
