Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
