I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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