New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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