She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize