Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
