Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
