For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
