I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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