i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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