You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
