so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
