If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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