Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
