im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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