he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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