I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Operation Purity has been aborted
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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