I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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