now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
