Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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