Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
