I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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